Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Depression...it's real.

Depression can be a sneaky little bitch that just pops out of nowhere and rams her cute little face right into your face at the most inopportune moments in life.  I just want to be this "Happy-go-lucky" woman, however, the past few days, it feels as if I'm easily brought down, which is a detrimental feeling.
Some of the depression came on over the weekend upon being completely ignored and then blown up  on by a family member.  It is something that absolutely shouldn't surprise me, nor bother me, however, I can't believe how somebody at that age and stage in their life can act so immaturely in a public setting.  I'm thoroughly embarrassed for them and still laughing at their immaturity level that was displayed publicly.
After the public humiliation for my family member, and my hour of public hilariousness, I got to spend the greater part of the day with a little person that means the world plus some to me.  We had a great time cuddling on the couch, eating chips on my freshly laundered bedding, running around the house like maniacs, high-fiving, and giving and receiving an endless amount of hugs and kisses.  It was quite perfect!
On a side note, which has nothing to do with the family member, I was raised not to roll my eyes.  My mother hates eye rolling, so eye rolling is a huge no-no.  It's a huge form of disrespect.  The constant eye rolling every time I'm in the same room as a certain person is unbelievably disgusting.  For being someone whom is so highly respected professionally and personally, you sure do not know how to publicly present yourself in that manner to very many people.  Quite possibly, you think I'm some sort of threat towards you?  Whereas in reality, you won't even speak to me and homeboy is...well....crazy in love with YOU...and he and I are never ever gonna be gettin' together....like, ever! Get tha picture?  
Yesterday was the 28th, which marks exactly three months ago since my sweet (second) cousin, Madison Elizabeth, Went to Heaven.  The 28th has become a rather difficult day of the month for me to cope.  Had Madison not been born and passed away at 18.5 weeks, my cousin would be about two months away from delivering her now.  It still makes me sick to my stomach thinking about the loss of this precious life.  I'm still at a complete loss, especially on the 28th of each month, wanting to text or call my cousin and her husband, yet, I don't know what to say.  However, they are fiercely loved and widely prayed for, the same for Madison Elizabeth, who is safe up in Heaven, watching down on all of us.
Despite the depression, I've found solace in pure beauty that can't be duplicated.  That is a true work from God.  A beautiful sunset always makes me so thankful for all of the blessings I have in my life.  It makes me realize that it could be so much worse.  Despite all of the medical issues and pain, despite the Saturday morning drama, I took this photo below, and I can show it off to you, 110% unedited.  It's Gods' creation, His artwork, and it's stunning.
Friday
October, 24, 2014

Friday, October 17, 2014

Dear Friday



Dear Friday, instead of making today seem productive on this beautiful day, I feel the urge just to lay around and catch up on television shows.  I've already watched this weeks Law and Order: SVU, and I'm working on watching the first 3 episodes of A to Z.  Even with my daily liquid courage (aka, coffee!) I just don't want to leave my bed and laptop.

Dear Weather, please stop changing so frequently as of late.  It's not great for my health, or my motivation.

Dear Saturday, I cannot wait for you to arrive, with the exception of my alarm clock going off very early.  However, Saturday morning soccer games of my nephew, Adrian's, are my favorite thing in the world.

Dear Coffee, I love you, oh so much!  Let's stay together forever!

Dear Marissa, Happy Birthday!!! (tomorrow!)  P.S.  I love it when you talk medical to me, Marissa Anne!

Dear Matt and Natalie, Forty-three days until the big day!  I can't wait!

Dear Target, I'm rather upset you only had one of the scarves I picked up for Marissa for her birthday.  I desperately wanted that same scarf, so we could be twins!

Dear Presley, Thank you for not only getting me addicted to Portlandia, but now A to Z!  Also, every time I think about that shows title, I think of the Jason Mraz song, Wordplay.  You should learn it, and sing it often!  It's an awesome song!

Dear Blog Readers, you are all awesome and I hope you have a wonderful weekend!


Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Foggy


Once again, it feels as though I haven't blogged in forever.  More so, it feels as if I haven't touched my laptop in an eternity.  It's not for the lack of living that's prevented me from blogging, it's the complete opposite actually.  

I've been attempting to live life to the fullest as of late.  I've come to a realization that life is short and I should try and enjoy even the smallest of moments.   

The smaller things in life have recently included eating pizza instead of sleeping, spending time with the parents instead of just laying around and relaxing, and most importantly, during a migraine, getting out of bed to play with my lifelines, Danica and Adrian.

It's the little moments in life that make the kids happy.  It's the little moments in life that make me happy.  All Adrian wanted last night was for me to get out of bed the other night and make him and Danica popcorn, and instead of rolling over and going back to sleep, I obliged, and he thanked me a numerous amount of times.  

Tomorrow, I have a an appointment with Dr. Brain.  I have no doubt in my mind that he'll give me a clean bill of health, however, my anxiety level is pretty high that he'll want to up medication dosages or send me for imaging, since I haven't had imaging done in about a year.  

I can't focus on the anxiety of the appointment though.  I need to stay in the moment and enjoy life.  On tap tonight is a night of great friends and great music...I couldn't be happier!



Monday, September 29, 2014

New Post


I'll tell you what, the creativity with blog titles is just coming from magical places lately, because, seriously?  Best! Title! Ever!  

Also, at some point you reach a plateau.  This oddly satisfying plateau where I'm the happiest I've felt  in so long.  It's such a strange feeling.  

I think it all began when my friend Presley and I really began hanging out a lot more frequently.  There is nothing going on between us relationship wise, however, for the past few weeks, we've been spending at least 4 days a week together, and when we aren't together, we are texting each other.  He has become such a positive influence in my life.

When we are together, we can usually be found sipping on Frappucinnos, thanks to Presley newly getting me hooked on them again, talking about just about any and every topic under the moon, and since he is a drummer, his drumming tendencies (read as: he drums on anything, and everything, at all times!) tend to rub off on me when we're together and we both start randomly drumming on any surface we can find.  Last night, we were in the car together on the way to dinner and we were both just randomly drumming for a good 5 minutes before I realized we didn't even have any music on.


We can be extremely dorky and go sunglasses shopping while both wearing our hats tilted to the side.

We celebrated his birthday, his twin brothers birthday, and one of his younger sisters' birthday all in one evening with his entire family.

Last Monday night, he had a gig at the last minute come out (Remember:  He's a musician, yo!) and he invited me to come down with him to the "Invite Only" Grand Opening of a brand new TGI Fridays in our area.  Presley and I had a great time coming up with a tentative setlist on the way down to gig and then I had my own couch and table at the side of the stage so I could watch the guys perform and hang out.  The best part was the Photo Booth that was set up, and during his break, we ran over and took a series of pictures.   Unfortunately, two of the four pictures will NEVER see the light of day, because they are completely horrid, and one is not uploaded to my computer yet.  I guess you'll have to deal with the one picture I have.  Our "fun" picture....


And then theres nights when Presley just disappears and someone else pops out of his shell....
 QUITE LITERALLY 

All in all, I'm blessed to have Presley in my life.  He has helped me restore my Faith in so many ways.  I've noticed so many little changes in myself since we've become so close.  The changes may not be noticeable to those around me, but they are most definitely evident in my eyes.  As long as the positive changes are apparent in my eyes, they're the only eyes they matter in.


Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Let It Go!

Forget it, y'all, to be quite honest, I'm beginning this blog post at 5:00am, and I don't even have an outline or any handwritten notes for this post...this could be a complete cluster...nothing may make sense at all, but I'm just going to pull out my inner Elsa, (even though Danica always insists on my being Anna!) and Let It Go!
How do I plan to 'Let It Go' exactly?  Bullet style writing, but of course!
  • Recently, I've become very obsessed with a certain food.  This is a food most people have no issues with, but I've had a problem stomaching for years now.  What food am I speaking of?  Salad.  A garden salad or a chicken salad with ranch dressing seemingly makes me the happiest woman in the world right now.  It's so strange!
  • Danica is still a fan of Kindergarten, with the exception of her nightly homework.  (Practicing her letters.)  The days have been seemingly wearing her out, as proven when I went and picked her up a day last week, and within 10 minutes, she was in the backseat, looking like this:
    Out cold!
  • I ran into my old friend, Phillip, whom I haven't seen now in a few years.  He's a very talented musician here in the Dallas area and when he was talking to my friend and I walked over, he saw me and went "Woah!  Janet!  You have different glasses, and your hair is shorter!  You look so great!"  It was great to catch up and I promised to go see a show of his one day soon, as it's been far too long!
    Phillip and Me
  • I enjoyed a perfect night on a rooftop pool/hot tub a night last week and I took some beautiful shots of...ya know....the pool and the hot tub.
    The pool

    The hot tub
  • I also found a very awesome, hand painted, birdhouse at a friends house last weekend.  I had to snap a picture of it because I'm somewhat obsessed with birdhouses right now.  I also contemplated throwing it in my purse and running, but we all know that would've never worked!

  • Lastly, I took this picture on September 6th, from my car, as I was STOPPED at a light.  a storm was approaching ahead of me, while the sun was setting in a clear, beautiful sky behind me.  What a beautiful sight.  Moments like these make you pause, take a deep breath, and say "God really IS amazing!"

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Lazy Update


Bullet style, because it's the easiest laziest ways to compose a post!

  • The Kindergartener is having the time of her life.  With the first week of school in the books, her favorite parts of school are "P.E. and the cafeteria!"   I wonder how recess didn't make the list.
  • Why is everybody popping out babies lately?  I know of THREE people who have given birth in the past 8 days.  What is in the water?
  • Can I just move into a Starbucks?  I just can't get over how wonderful it smells.  
  • Speaking of scents, last week a friend of mine pointed out to me that Target has a very distinct scent to their stores.  I since have went into a different Target location and I can absolutely see (smell!) this distinct scent!   Has anyone else noticed it?
  • I'm eagerly awaiting for some important paperwork to arrive at my house.  I'm pretty much on pins and needles until it arrives.  Oh!  The anxiety!
  • I think I'm the only person on the the face of the Earth who hand writes all of my posts before typing them up.  There is just something about putting thoughts on paper first.  Need proof?  This is how this post began.

  • There has been something completely distracting me for the past week and I can't exactly pin-point what it is.  It's getting beyond frustrating!
  • Natalie and I went to Kohls on Saturday where I ended up buying two (more!) dresses for a grand total of $42.  They are both fall/winter dresses, and my logic for purchasing more dresses (I'm a dress addict!) was that I needed dresses for Natalie's wedding showers and all of the bridal functions I'll be attending in the next three months!
  • I finally broke down and bought myself a pair of Beats Solo 2, by Dr. Dre.  I'm madly, madly, MADLY in love with them!

  • Every once and a while, I send M fun little care packages.  Last week, I finally made it to the post office and mailed off a fun book, some organic lipgloss, a SkyMall magazine and this card, which totally won her heart.
    "I love you nearly as much as Kayne loves himself"
  • My friend Michelle just sent me this and I think it's amazing.  Have a fantastic week!

Monday, August 25, 2014

Oh, The Places You'll Go!


Today, my sweet little niece, Danica, embarked on a new journey in life.  A new journey she has distinctively earned since her birth five years ago.

Today, Danica began kindergarten! 
I am absolutely bewildered  by how time has just flown by.  It seems like just last week, Danica was just two weeks old, cuddled up with me on the couch, watching her first baseball game.  (Rangers vs. Yankees, to be exact!)  Today though...she's actually a kindergartener!
Meet the Teacher night
This morning, my Dani-Bug, my Chicka, my Mini-Me, my little best friend was fully ready to conquer the hallways of elementary school with her golden smile firmly planted on her face.  That exact smile that has held a tight grasp upon my heart for the past five years, two weeks, and three days.
Danica and me last fall.  Both toting Vera Bradley
bags...She made "hers" a crossbody like mine!
In preparation for today, as an Aunt, I have attempted to instill all types of amazing, yet positive attributes into Danica's young mind.  Of course, she knows she's cute, but she knows not to use it to her advantage.  More importantly, infixing upon her the importance of treating others kindly, sharing, and always displaying positive mannerisms.  Danica is a nurturing soul, which I have found to be one of her best attributes. 
Danica caring for the cat when she was sick.
This spunky little lady is well equipped for success.  Frozen backpack and all.
Always follow your dreams.  Any dream is fully attainable as long as you put your mind to it.  Don't let anyone steal your spark!

“Kid, you'll move mountains.” 
― Dr. SeussOh, The Places You'll Go!

“Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!” 
― Dr. SeussOh, The Places You'll Go!

Danica's
First Day of
Life
August 8, 2009
Danica Nicole
Class of 2027


 
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