Thursday, January 22, 2015

My Mind....

My mind is in an absolute jumble.  Last week was an absolute train wreck of a week.  I attempted to blog about it, but after sitting down in front of my laptop, I only got 3 sentences in after about an hour.  
To summarize, there was death, a reoccurrence of cancer for a good friend, and a birthday of a friend, who is now in Heaven.  It was emotionally draining, to say the least.  
This week has been full of unseasonably warm weather, which has now turned into cold and rainy at the blink of an eye, which has just left me feeling like.....disgusting!
It's gotten to the point where I've been neglecting returning telephone calls and text messages, which is so very unlike me.  I'm normally very on top of my game, however, as of late, talking on the phone or replying to a simple text message have seemed very low on the totem pole on my list of things to do.
Then again, there are some text messages I have been responding to.  I should explain, in my life, when it rains, in any form, it pours.
I date.  I try not to become too attached to anyone at any point.  Due to my medical issues, I somewhat feel...inadequate in a relationship.  It's a very odd feeling to have, but a completely real feeling that I have.
Feeling crappy the majority of the time, I find it difficult to hold onto relationships.  Rather it be a friendship or a romantic relationship, it can be difficult.  I do hold myself responsible for the downfall of relationships, it's not all the other persons fault, and yet, it isn't all my healths fault, either.  It can be that...I have days where I just don't care to fight for the relationship.
I gave up on a relationship last fall.  Perhaps, it was just going too quickly, where everything just seemed too perfect.  The smile on my face was a permanent accessory at that time and to hell with anyone who was going to attempt to steal it from me.  I stole the smile from myself, and ended the relationship, leaving him in the dark months ago.
Recently though, he took the first step and sent me a text message, stating that he's been thinking about me a lot lately.  To be honestly, he had been on my mind a lot as of late, for some reason, so the texting frenzy had begun.  
As of today, the texting between the two of us has been non-stop, and it's as like we never stopped talking to begin with.  We have discussed getting together to talk in person, over a meal, however, nothing it set in stone yet.  
My mind is frazzled.  He knows my medical history, my trials, my fears, my strengths, and my weaknesses.  I think I'm going to give this another shot.  My heart is saying yes, and that is what I should trust the most.
My mind is just so jumbled, just like this blog post!

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Five on...Thursday??

Thanks to Maegen over at The Modern Tulip, I've decided to do a "Five on Thursday" instead of a "Five on Friday."  Thanks for the idea, Maegen.  Also, if you haven't checked out her blog, you totally should!  She is a beautiful lady expecting her first child in March!  I'm so excited to read her blog each day, and can't wait until her son, Maddox, arrives.  With the stellar looking parents he has, he's bound to be one handsome fella!


On New Year's Day, I had the most fun Skype session EVER!  It was between myself and my niece, Danica.  My brothers girlfriends' daughter, Kosca was also there with Danica.  Danica made this perfect face right as I snapped a picture of my laptop screen.  
Please excuse how horrid *I* look!


On Monday afternoon, I finally got a new car!  I got a brand new, 2014 Ford Focus.  It's beautiful, rides beautifully, and I love it!


Sweet Danica, who is five, and in kindergarten, was home from school sick on Tuesday.  Albeit not feeling well, she took time out of her morning of resting to draw me a picture.  For those of you that don't understand the art of five year olds, she drew me with my cat, under a cloud and the sun, on some grass.  She also wrote "I <3 U" on the top, "So (she) doesn't have to say it anymore.


This song came on my radio last night and totally made my day.  I texted my friend, Zach, this image with the text, "This is happening right now!" and his response was "Don't go, Jason!"  I nearly died laughing.  C'mon now, we ALL misheard the lyrics back in the mid-90's!


We all love photos of sunrises and sunsets.  I mean, who doesn't?  The magical work of God is absolutely amazing!  It's just...crazy beautiful!  Sorry to disappoint, as I'm not giving you a photo today of a sunrise, nor sunset.  Instead, I'm giving you a skyline photograph.  I took this photograph Tuesday evening, from the porch of my friends Adrian and Jacob's house.  In the foreground, which due to the darkness and fogginess, is barely visible, is the Trinity River.  In the background is Downtown Fort Worth.  This photo is completely unedited and worth WAY more than 1,000 words!

I just love he rawness of this photograph.  I love the contrast between the dark sky and the green grass with the city lights in the middle.  I've stood in this exact location numerous amounts of times and never even thought to take a photograph of it.  I've seen this view during the day and at the middle of the night when the entire world seems to be asleep.  It is always breathtaking and I hope to take many more photographs similar to this!

Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Happiness is...

     -the quality or state of being happy.
     -delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a particular thing.
Happiness is (Janet's definitions) 
  • a vanilla latte first thing in the morning.
  • cuddling up on the couch with a cozy blanket to watch a chick flick.
  • hugs and kisses from the niece and nephew.
  • finding a pair of 'boyfriend' jeans that fit amazingly that you just never want to take off!
  • figuring out the title and artist of a song thats been stuck in your head for months!
  • serious discussions in which you really end up helping out someone.
  • a nice scarf.
  • a great pair of sunglasses.
  • finding the perfect song to describe your mood at the perfect time.
  • a Law and Order: SVU marathon.
  • a Dance Moms marathon.
  • hating a given nickname at first, and then slowly warming up to it, to the point where you may have used that as your name at Starbucks once or twice.
  • my new Kate Spade purse.
  • being blessed enough to wake up in a safe, warm home every day.
  • having my health be somewhat stable for the time being.
  • naps with Adrian that look something like this.
  • moments of silliness with Danica.
  • and for the beauty in the sky when you least expect it.

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Adios 2014!

As everybody is doing wrap-up posts, saying goodbye to 2014, I honestly don't have the brain power at the current time to compose a post similar to the one I wrote up exactly one year ago today.

Twenty-fourteen wasn't the best year ever, however, it was far from the worse.  A lot of the bad stayed away from the blogosphere.

Health wise, I only (ha! ha! ha!) had one urgent care visit, and two emergency room visits.  None of those visits were really associated around my core health issues, which was a huge blessing!

A week before Christmas Eve, I did total my car, which is reasoning for one of the two emergency room visits.  

After about 5 hours in the Emergency Room that night, I can just recommend, please be careful driving in dark, rainy conditions!  I walked out of the Emergency Room after having CT Scans of the head, neck, and back, as well as X-Rays on my hand and wrist from the air bag, and the only injuries I sustained were airbag burns on my hand!  I am truly grateful and blessed!

Also in 2014, an AMAZING friendship sprouted with Presley.  I look at him as another brother, and I'm so thankful and blessed to have him in my life!  

Also in 2014, my sweet niece, Danica, started kindergarten...

....and channeled her inner Abby Lee Miller on the day after Christmas when attempting to teach me a "dance" she had learned at after school care.

Mister Adrian is obsessed with trucks and trains and is 100% boy!  At last check, he was going to be a garbage man when he grows up, and apparently, in the state of Texas (per Adrian!) you can get a job as a garbage man at the age of three!  I'm still wondering why he has yet to apply for the job yet!
He was also pretty stoked to go see Santa on the Sunday after Thanksgiving.  (Also, Santa lives across the street from me, which is the most awesome thing in the world, no lines!)

In 2014, I also had to make an emergency trip back home to Buffalo, New York.  While I spent a week up there for a somber reason, it was amazing to be surrounded by my extended family and so much love.  It is a trip that I will absolutely never forget.  For the reasoning and for the love.

So, I guess minus the links, I did semi-do a recap of 2014, in no order what-so-ever!  That's just how I roll I guess.

I hope everyone has a very safe, HAPPY New Years!  I hope you get to kiss someone at midnight that you care about...I know I will be doing just that!

See you all in 2015!

Monday, December 22, 2014

Oh...hey there!

Oh!  Hey there!

Remember me?  I'm the owner of this blog that magically has just disappeared from the blogosphere!  

I just wanted to check in quickly and let everyone know that I'm alive and kicking.

Things get crazy this time of year with Thanksgiving and Christmas.  You know what I mean.  The endless shopping, wrapping countless gifts, and stuffing the stockings!

In addition to the normal holiday hustle and bustle, my best friend, Natalie, got married two days after Thanksgiving which was extremely beautiful, and Natalie would agree when I say: Time Consuming!

The beautiful Bride and Me.
15 minutes before she said "I Do!"
The afternoon after Natalie's wedding, I was greeted at home by my sweet nephew who was beyond excited to see me walk in the door.  I was endlessly showered in hugs, kisses, and three year old conversation.

He was beyond stoked when we met up with Santa a few hours later and the conversation between the two of them was priceless.  

I'm just very sad to the report that he most likely will not be receiving the alligator he requested this year.

OH!  And then last Wednesday night, I absolutely totaled my car, spent 5 hours in the Emergency Room, and the end result was that I walked away without a single injury.  Praise the Lord for that!  However, we can save that story, and the pictures for another day and time!

Until then, I hope everyone's enjoying their holiday season with the ones they love most, remembering the reason for the season, and enjoying all of the delicious treats that come along with the season!

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Cooking and Cuddles

Almost 6 years ago, I found out that I was going to be an Aunt for the first time.  Now that I'm an Aunt to two WONDERFUL kiddos, I've truly come to realize how much they have enriched my life and blessed me in so many ways!

Monday night was just one of those nights where I felt the love, hardcore, from my niece, Danica.  As she is 5 years old, she is a lover of the Disney movie, Frozen, and at times she prefers to be called Elsa.  Upon her arrival, one of the first things she told me was that SHE was the one who made it snow on Sunday night, using her magical Elsa powers.

Danica Elsa, this past summer.
She helped prepare a dinner of chicken, biscuits, and macaroni and cheese with my mother, and loved standing on the kitchen island to check on the cooking noodles.

She was in a rare form, way beyond her normal, hilarious self, and just as dinner was about ready, we decided to take a couple of pictures together.

"Let's do silly faces, Jan!"

"Say Potaaaatoooooo!"
 After dinner, and some well earned time spent with her Daddy playing with play-dough and reading some books, my favorite Little Lady decided that she was going to sleep in my bed, with me.  When I crawled in bed next to her, I asked her why she wanted to sleep with me and her soft spoken, sleepy response melted my heart.  "Cuddles!"

 Before this little Queen, who is sadly, coming down with a cold let me turn the light off for the night,  she wanted one last picture of us for the night.  Your wish is my command, Your Highness!

Bubble Guppies pajamas!
After watching some Full House (one of her new favorite shows!) she finally found a comfortable sleeping position and entered into a peaceful sleep....

Danica cuddled up against me.
Hello Kitty pillow getting zero use.
I guess she was completely serious about the cuddles!

Friday, November 14, 2014

Fifteen to go!

In fifteen days, my friend Natalie will be marrying Matt, the man of her dreams.  I feel so honored to be able to stand beside Natalie on Saturday, November 29th, when her and Matt finally say "I do!"

Natalie and I have been counting the days down together for nearly 200 days now, to the point where it has nearly become a game.  I'll receive a text message mid-day saying "How many days?" or we'd be mid-conversation and one of us would blurt out, "So, how many days?"

Natalie and Matt got engaged months before Matt 'put a ring on it!'  I was on my way to Destin, Florida when Matt began texting me to plan on the actual proposal, and I spoke with him several times throughout my vacation.  Shortly after returning home from my vacation, the proposal went down at a nice little Italian restaurant perfectly, as Natalie was caught completely off guard.  It wasn't anything huge, or elaborate, but it was 110% perfect for Natalie and Matt's style, on a beautiful Saturday night in late July in Texas!

The next thing I knew, we were shopping for wedding dresses and bridesmaid dresses, which was a completely amazing experience.  The dress Natalie is wearing is the 2nd (or is it 3rd?!?) dress she tried on at David's Bridal.  When she rang the bell, a tradition at Davids, myself, the matron of honor, and Natalie's mother, were all in tears.

We also picked out our bridesmaid dresses that day, however, they did not have a single dress in our color in stock that day, so we went into ordered our dresses color unseen, which made all of us a little bit nervous.   Oddly enough, Jessica, the matron of honor, and I, showed up at the exact same time to pick up our dresses when they arrived, and we fell in love with EVERYTHING about the dresses the moment we saw them.  I took mine to show Natalie right away, and she was just as smitten as we were!

With one wedding shower already under our belts, the next 15 days are sure to be exciting, yet hectic.  With endless hours of minor details left to put together, an entire corner of my room full of gifts needing to be wrapped, one more bridal shower, a bridal luncheon, and major holiday (Hello, Thanksgiving!!) until the big day, all our our dresses our altered and pressed and we're ready for the big day!

In just 15 short days!
Me with the bride-to-be!

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